dance

awww...
today was the yearend dance recital and i am going to be so sad. :(
cause now that I'm in gr 11...the grade above me is the graduating grade and they will go. :(
the pictures will not be enough.
and, i will miss dance.
to take dance away from me, would take away who i am. and to give it to me, makes me feel like the luckiest child on earth.
i'm only in my second year of dance but have dreamed of wanting for it, of trying for it, for my whole life.
i had times of stagefright today which i'm sorry for but overall--i just fell into the music.
it moved me so much and i just couldn't stop.
my parents didn;t come cause it was 'expensive'. but my friend and her mom did, since she knows someone else in it too. ^^ i was really glad. :) we talked about DIYing dresses in the intermission; i wish i were as knowledgeable as she is. ^^ i said i would wear something outlandish to grad, something i would make, hopefully. or some cheap dress. :)
also this year the recital was more relaxed--which was why i got stagefright because nothing was prepared, last minute, and not even taped to make it official.
so yep, that ends my year 11 dance year, and the last contact with my trio (they're from a different school and a lot younger), and the beginning of a new beginning starts tomorrow. (the final day of school which is for signing yearbooks etc.)
oh god
i feel like i'm jumping into thin air, leaping over the last arc of sunshine and into the penumbra of a new world. (i like how i threw those words around like i know what they mean...I'm getting straightened up for english summer school)
Grade twelve, and my final educational achievements in all areas before graduating--here i am, and here i come.

i feel blessed in nature

my best friends and three boys went to a hiking trip yesterday to a valley! In there is a suspension bridge (that crosses an immensely deep canyon with swiftly flowing water--watch out!) and muddy trails. ;) Thank god my friend had been there many times cause I swear we didn't follow any trails half the time and jumped over roots and puddles and climbed wooden stairs instead. ;) We went for a steady 2-3 hours and were tired but excited to find a covered area for lunch. ^^ we all exchanged food. ;) It was pouring rain by then and we waited it out before continuing. ;) After the hike, we bussed to some malls to use the giftcard my friend gave me. However it was an expensive store and I couldn't split it, much less anything. 
A much better store was H&M. Though I disliked the loud music and crowds, there were some good deals. I really regret not buying some chain accessory that was on sale for $2--chain is expensive for some reason and i wanted a token of that store--it was very fashionable although the amount of styles was overwhelming and not organized by style, but price. ^^ in contrast, the last store we went to was so ridiculously expensive it made me want to puke. $25 000 for one piece of clothing. :P
However, I gathered lots of inspiration (from the cheaper stores!!!) since their trends are actually wearable and i love them. :) I even met a classmate there and i was so happy to see her again. ^^Maybe I have no money but being at a store and seeing my friends makes me happy enough! ^^
All in all, we had lots of fun ;) the boys were funny which is what i like, but sometimes my girl friends go overboard for them.  i know who we are, since we've seen each other at our bored-est state at school, and they're not as airheaded as she acts (one's top student after all) ^^ but i still love her and wished we had a girl's only moment so she didn't have to act. Was the guy's fault for being  a tease lol though.



xox,
hihihi <3 ^^

what makes me happy :) looking forward to summer

we were little kids, who had dreams.

we were little kids, who grew up.

we grew up, but where went the dreams?

to me, it seems that the dreams i had as a kid were the realest dreams. cause then i was not influenced by advertisements/sexy ads/pressure as much. 

back then all thinking was my own. :) 

and now i'm realizing, they still are. :)

the last two days were some of the best days of my life since australia. :) cause those two days i was praised and  made a different and strengthened bonds, and explored my creative side.

to me, that is what makes me happy. ;)

for the first good day, it was dance. :) i danced particularly well, better than i had before. :) it doesn't mean i'm a natural, it means that if you work hard enough you will improve. :) and haha my dance teacher said i had nice leg muscles ^^ which was a funny compliment because i never though so and don't play any sports!! haha  it was also fun learning a new dance for the year end recital.

for the second day i worked with my best friends on a school art project. we had to design the art project ourselves. i was so proud of how much we accomplished and how we designed it ourselves. :) the private feeling of accomplishment within our circle of friends was appreciated since almost all my friends have boyfriends now; we don't have "girl's only" outings anymore; boys are always included (heehee-not always a bad thing^^ though last time the boys wouldn't go into the clothing stores)
i do wish there was a boy i could identify with though...lately the only boy who i could like has gone anime crazy and is scaring me...i thought he was a gentlemen, but not anymore. >< i want a fun, joking guy that's not flaky and maybe asian. ^^
for the first time (in a long time) we also did each other's hair...even my short short hair that my mom won't let me grow out. maybe this summer i will...
this summer...
i will finish english summer school,
hopefully go on lots of trips with friends,
volunteer,
go out with family,
dance for fun ^^ (my mom is threatening to not let me dance next year...FOR NO REASON AT ALL except that she dislikes me doing it!!! >:(   )
and...shop with friends a bit with the giftcard my friend gave me for my bday.
hope to take lots of pictures, learn a lot, get to know more people and get to know those i love better. :)
...
oh yeah, since i'm on the internet and not my journal ^^,  i won himeko's giveaway!! ^^ http://missyhimeko.jugem.jp     i will be giving the items to my asian-style loving friend 'o'. ^^ just yesterday she was talking about coloured lenses  and double eyelid tape. haha i said, i won some! ^^
but i love my friend the way she is, she is naturally gorgeous ^^
i also won a contest for canadians from a popular brand, p&g, with $90 worth of 3 skin products :o somehow i am lucky ^^
hope to be lucky all summer. ^^ and and and best of all saturday i am going on a hiking trip with my friends!! and guys too..haha can't wait~~LOVE the outdoors!!
WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS?
xox,
hihihi <3

summer karma

so, as you know, i dont buy anything unless it's on sale.

on a super sale.

anyways, a few days ago my mom's friend came over. i love her. she is really nice. :) and she also brought some old clothes, as always, cause al my clothes are hand me downs (lol). at least i'm environmentally friendly. :) 

and personally she brought in a verrry cute black sweatshirt with a printed hoodie ^^ 

but moreover, one of the pockets of the clothes had the above product inside. ;) 

the sheseido spf 45 foundation stick in ochre (~$30!!!) $30!! wow!!

it smells like sunscreen a lot, which reminded me of summer.

yeah~~~

i love summer!! 

also there were $7 in another pocket!!!! my mom NEVER gives me money other than a few dollars so this is  lucky~ and this time i used the money for my family and me. ^^ i bought some foot cream for my mom, freezies for everyone in the hot weather 

ahhh boys....

ahhhhh boys...
can't live with or without them.
your brothers, they're annoying.
your guy friends, they're the best
and the ones you're crushing on, they're the same ones.
haha...well today almost officially two of my three friends have boyfriends...i could tell my third friend was really rattled. which is weird cause she's the hottest of us all, she always used to tell us stories about guys in her homeland who thought she was an actor haha. ;) i love her. and i can't believe that she was talking that way. well guess i was too cause i had to comfort her by pretending to feel the same way. I do, except i'm not that keen on actually getting a boyfriend while my friend seems to require one. :)
but i love her so much!! we just had a little walk just the two of us while our two other friends sat and ate lunch together. ><
why can't i access her??!! why do we have to talk about boys and mention dating at the same time?? what happened to only noticing a boy for his good looks or good character...:(
well i guess this is growing up...next year we will graduate and....oh....
anyways, on a lighter note, i bought some lace. it's green cause there was no white and it was dirt cheap >< i'm glad i didn't give away all my beauty supplies to friends because now i can do lace nails >< they're drying right now but once im done i'll give u a DIY! ^^ they're sooo cute ><
i think too many people, including me, try to grow up with makeup, but no, growing up is nuturing what's inside, this is what i learned. for so long i couldn't wait to feel the brush of mascara against my eyelashes, now i know the creation of creativity and expressing it in dance or art is way more potent than anything makeup can bring.
>< none of you have me on facebook of course but my status was that all girls were prettier without makeup >< makeup is only good when u already have a boy u like or for creative practice. ^^

my question to you is,
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BOYS? ^^
xox,
hihihi