3 hr summer school? that's nothing, nothing at all. not with the sun shining in your eyes. not with a cute guy so close to you. not with one of your best friends right next to you. Not when you actually enjoy writing essays about things that matter to you. no, all this was heaven. all of it.
heaven. so that's what it's like. wearing shorts everyday. running to school but knowing you wont be penalized for being late. 15 minute breaks where everything happens. In class essays where you pour your heart out. Being free. Being me.
Somethings happened for sure. I felt so included maybe I never wanted to leave that microcosm. I still remember going to out of town malls. feeling like a rat in a maze. feeling like i had to jump off of everything to get rid of the energy. feeling a tiny bit of pride of being size 0 and a glimpse of the future in that beautiful, $300+ dress...and feeling hope, or craziness, but also jealousy that my other friend was more friendly with my best friend than she was with me because they were going to school, seeing each other everyday together. I didn't know which, the poles had been reversed.
But leave I had to , and now it's equipped me to go anywhere.
Do anything.
Even english 12 exams of doom.
Thanks english 12, mr b and ks and sa and all the others I truly love.
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
byebye summer
the summer has ended.
I'm planning my first outfit back to school--something i've never done.
but i've never been a gr 12 either before, too.
oh fck, all the hot boys that i met and love, the love that will die down once i get buried under studying, the dreams that will follow me around like sheepy clouds following a storm.
wish me luck.
and good luck to u all
xox,
hihihi ^^
I'm planning my first outfit back to school--something i've never done.
but i've never been a gr 12 either before, too.
oh fck, all the hot boys that i met and love, the love that will die down once i get buried under studying, the dreams that will follow me around like sheepy clouds following a storm.
wish me luck.
and good luck to u all
xox,
hihihi ^^
Monday, March 14, 2011
indoor rock climbing heaven
* i want to post some pictures of my presents/creations...tomorrow!!*
its a busy week as australia trip comes closer (3 more days!)...
friday, self defence seminar ^^ afterwards, we saw people playing hockey in the dark to loud music, it was so typically canadian---> i miss the olympics and the joy they brought, must try playing hockey at night too. ^^
saturday, helped out with a friend and ended up spending four hours out even though I was swamped with homework laughing about trying to enter an ipad contest (maybe win? will we split the prize? crack the ipad in two??^^)...
monday, today, indoor rockclimbing with my school girl's gym class...
so amazing. there's no good or bad, it's always good when you really get into it, put your all.
the people at the rockclimbing place were so inspiring and funny and encouraging.
some of the guys were very buff (haha...wait til i tell my friendies ^^) despite not caring about guys, it was hard not to notice and like...
and everyone was so encouraging too. i reached the top of all the walls i climbed. i watched people almost make it and cheered for them too. hearing all the people cheer for me as i climbed was the best. ^^
rockclimbing...you have to trust your belayer and i did, though it was hard at first! though knowing you are safe helped me climb since i know i can just make a leap for the next handhold and always be safe.
to make it harder/easier there are colours on the handholds so you can try to stick to only one colour and get up...two stories high...my legs were always shaking as i reached the ground quickly and my forearms so tight because i was so tense!
how to say no to adrenaline? last year and two years before that i went snowboarding and it's the same feeling...only indoor rockclimbing is more safe and warm haha ^^
as always i took tons of the freebies...a temporary tatoo and 3 stickers...haha. does anyone else have that habit? taking everything free as a memento?
oh and thanks to elisa at http://www.memorable-days.net/ i got my free born pretty rhinestones. ^^ they are so beautiful and shiny to look at.
im making a mini icecream cone right now for my friend's bday, maybe i'll put some mini rhinestones on it? yay ^^
soo random post sorry.
i encourage you to try indoor rock climbing. whatever happens, you will end up with experience. ^^
xox, hihihi
its a busy week as australia trip comes closer (3 more days!)...
friday, self defence seminar ^^ afterwards, we saw people playing hockey in the dark to loud music, it was so typically canadian---> i miss the olympics and the joy they brought, must try playing hockey at night too. ^^
saturday, helped out with a friend and ended up spending four hours out even though I was swamped with homework laughing about trying to enter an ipad contest (maybe win? will we split the prize? crack the ipad in two??^^)...
monday, today, indoor rockclimbing with my school girl's gym class...
so amazing. there's no good or bad, it's always good when you really get into it, put your all.
the people at the rockclimbing place were so inspiring and funny and encouraging.
some of the guys were very buff (haha...wait til i tell my friendies ^^) despite not caring about guys, it was hard not to notice and like...
and everyone was so encouraging too. i reached the top of all the walls i climbed. i watched people almost make it and cheered for them too. hearing all the people cheer for me as i climbed was the best. ^^
rockclimbing...you have to trust your belayer and i did, though it was hard at first! though knowing you are safe helped me climb since i know i can just make a leap for the next handhold and always be safe.
to make it harder/easier there are colours on the handholds so you can try to stick to only one colour and get up...two stories high...my legs were always shaking as i reached the ground quickly and my forearms so tight because i was so tense!
how to say no to adrenaline? last year and two years before that i went snowboarding and it's the same feeling...only indoor rockclimbing is more safe and warm haha ^^
as always i took tons of the freebies...a temporary tatoo and 3 stickers...haha. does anyone else have that habit? taking everything free as a memento?
oh and thanks to elisa at http://www.memorable-days.net/ i got my free born pretty rhinestones. ^^ they are so beautiful and shiny to look at.
im making a mini icecream cone right now for my friend's bday, maybe i'll put some mini rhinestones on it? yay ^^
soo random post sorry.
i encourage you to try indoor rock climbing. whatever happens, you will end up with experience. ^^
xox, hihihi
Thursday, March 10, 2011
so confused
omgomg
so yesterday was the school dance but i didn't go. the people who i really wanted to go with weren't going. it seemed only for a select few, and the tickets didn't even sell out: the cool and the wannabes.
so no, i dun really want to go to the dance.
but i did want to wear a dress~~!! some people bought $100 dresses just for the ocassion. of course no one went without makeup. why~~!!! why must I feel this way~~usually I'm tomboy-ish but at the same time love dresses~~and dressing up~~~
i am so confused~~!!!
well first of all I don't even have a dress :( however my dance costume this year is one so I will have one dress.
>< (i started a year ago and i am the worst dancer on earth lol!!!!)
and I own no makeup/
why do i want makeup??
because everyone else wears it??
only like two people i love don't wear it. cause they are interested in fashion more, and one is sporty.
then what does that make me?? just some vain girl who doesn't have the money to show it???!!
i don't understand, i don't understand....
i think i just wanna feel special~~but the people who i wanted to be special for were not together on the day of the dance so I felt a little left out listening them talk despite the fact that i'd had a good night too~~
oh and when all my friends wear makeup, i feel like im at a disadvantage...it's not like that im talking about hte change in looks but the fact that by wearing makeup they're saying they're avaible for boys...like if a cute guy did walk by when we're out in the mall he would think i were wearing makeup too only it didn't make any difference on me or i didn't care enough to even try.
being a girl is complicated~~
I think all but two of my friends have crushes, some possible, some impossible~but I have none (well one that is just for fun basically)...
I would want to dress up for a guy, but there are no guys in my school I would earnestly want to chase...Grrr. Honestly I didn't go because I was scared I'd feel like I was a poser...because wearing a dress and dancing for three hours in a room full of strangers and weak aquaintances not me....
Or is it?
I've never tried.
I hope that, just this time, I wasn't self-limiting myself. the decision to not go the dance was made when i was 16, which sounded young/
now that im 17 i realize it is.
looking at the pictures no one looks very old despite dresses and makeup. but neither do i.
today will continue to go down in confusion i know.
the only good point was the things that i did that were purely me: running, talking, and getting free stuff (food and keychain). ^^
Please please I hope everyone understands I don't mean to be a butt by not going to the dance, but because now I want to, but never had a dress or people to go for, yet the experience might have been enough. :(
so here's my question for you, WHY DO YOU WEAR/DON'T WEAR MAKEUP?
hihihi
so yesterday was the school dance but i didn't go. the people who i really wanted to go with weren't going. it seemed only for a select few, and the tickets didn't even sell out: the cool and the wannabes.
so no, i dun really want to go to the dance.
but i did want to wear a dress~~!! some people bought $100 dresses just for the ocassion. of course no one went without makeup. why~~!!! why must I feel this way~~usually I'm tomboy-ish but at the same time love dresses~~and dressing up~~~
i am so confused~~!!!
well first of all I don't even have a dress :( however my dance costume this year is one so I will have one dress.
>< (i started a year ago and i am the worst dancer on earth lol!!!!)
and I own no makeup/
why do i want makeup??
because everyone else wears it??
only like two people i love don't wear it. cause they are interested in fashion more, and one is sporty.
then what does that make me?? just some vain girl who doesn't have the money to show it???!!
i don't understand, i don't understand....
i think i just wanna feel special~~but the people who i wanted to be special for were not together on the day of the dance so I felt a little left out listening them talk despite the fact that i'd had a good night too~~
oh and when all my friends wear makeup, i feel like im at a disadvantage...it's not like that im talking about hte change in looks but the fact that by wearing makeup they're saying they're avaible for boys...like if a cute guy did walk by when we're out in the mall he would think i were wearing makeup too only it didn't make any difference on me or i didn't care enough to even try.
being a girl is complicated~~
I think all but two of my friends have crushes, some possible, some impossible~but I have none (well one that is just for fun basically)...
I would want to dress up for a guy, but there are no guys in my school I would earnestly want to chase...Grrr. Honestly I didn't go because I was scared I'd feel like I was a poser...because wearing a dress and dancing for three hours in a room full of strangers and weak aquaintances not me....
Or is it?
I've never tried.
I hope that, just this time, I wasn't self-limiting myself. the decision to not go the dance was made when i was 16, which sounded young/
now that im 17 i realize it is.
looking at the pictures no one looks very old despite dresses and makeup. but neither do i.
today will continue to go down in confusion i know.
the only good point was the things that i did that were purely me: running, talking, and getting free stuff (food and keychain). ^^
Please please I hope everyone understands I don't mean to be a butt by not going to the dance, but because now I want to, but never had a dress or people to go for, yet the experience might have been enough. :(
so here's my question for you, WHY DO YOU WEAR/DON'T WEAR MAKEUP?
hihihi
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